You’re Setting Goals All Wrong (Do This Instead)

Key Takeaways

You are not failing your goals. Your goals are failing you. Yeah, [music] make sense of that. >> [laughter] >> And I hate to break it to you, but your goals are failing you because you've been setting them wrong this entire time. So, I'm sorry, but it is a little bit to do with you. But don't worry, it's not that you're lazy or that you're lacking discipline. The reason you're not hitting your goals is that you don't have a system to reach them. So, I read Atomic Habits earlier this year. I know I'm kind of late to the game and it completely changed how I approach setting my goals. And if you have not read it yet, I highly recommend you do. This book made me realize something simple. Goals do not change your life, your habits do. And habits, those are just systems that you repeat over and over and over again. And that is how you stay consistent, that is how you stay motivated, and that is how you reach any goal, even those massive, big, scary, [music] life-changing ones. Now, if you're anything like me, then setting goals goes a little something like this. Sorry to call you out. You set the goal, you maybe even write it down. Maybe you even buy like a new planner or a notebook or new gym shoes or whatever special thing you need in order to feel motivated to accomplish your new goal. You [music] might start off strong, right? And then what happens? Life starts lifing. You get busy, you get tired, something unexpected comes along and it completely throws you off course. Maybe you even get back on track. Yes, but then it happens again and it is harder and harder to find the motivation to get back on track the next time and then even harder the time after that until eventually you give up. [music] And if you're lucky, you've spent a few dedicated weeks or even months trying to reach that new goal until you completely fall off the wagon again and then the cycle repeats itself year >> [music] >> after year after year. Does that sound familiar? Well, I have good news. This is not a discipline problem. You are not undisciplined. I know, what a relief, right? This is what happens when you set goals without a system in place to help [music] you get there. A goal without a system is just like a shiny object on a shelf, right? You look at it, it's exciting at first, but then it gets kind of boring and eventually you stop looking at it. [music] If you want to change your life in any way, it takes consistent, repeatable action steps. I [music] know, I know. It's so much easier to just look at the goal on your shelf than actually focus on the very unsexy little baby steps that you need in order to get there. But I'm telling you it is your systems and habits that will carry you through when you're tired, when you're distracted, when you're overwhelmed, they actually make achieving your goals feel somewhat [music] automatic. So, here is how to fix this. Step one, you set your goal, right? This is what you've been doing. What exactly is it that you want to achieve? And I dare you to dream big. Claim it and [music] name it. The sky is the limit. What do you actually want your life to look like? What are you hoping to achieve? >> [music] >> Now, a great goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot. If it doesn't scare you, it's not big enough, period. And if it doesn't excite you, trust me, your system will not survive the inevitable friction that's going to come along and try to derail you. Now, quick side note, if you like content like this that actually helps you get results and not just feel good and feel motivated, you know what to do. Subscribe below and ring that bell to be notified when my next video goes live. All right, now step number two, define done. [music] The next big mistake that most people make when setting goals is they are not clear about what this achieved goal actually looks [music] like. Many people, many people approach goal setting with very generic goals like getting healthier, working less, having more fun, making more money, having more freedom or spending more time with friends. Now, don't get me wrong, those are great goals. I have had them myself sitting up there on my shelf, but they aren't even close to being specific enough. Do you want more freedom? Cool. What does that actually mean? Is freedom only working three days a week? Is it traveling the world? Is it being able to pick up your kids from school? Or how do you know when you reach your goal of being healthier? What does healthier actually look like to you? What specifically is it that you want? Get granular here. Your goals have to be trackable and measurable to be goals or else they're just wishes, right? Because if you can't measure it, then you can't actually build a system to get it. Now, step number three, you knew this was coming, you got to build the system. Here's where the real shift comes into play. [music] Stop asking, "How do I hit this goal?" and start asking, "What would someone who already has this result [music] in their life be doing every day?" And that answer becomes the starting point of your shiny new system. If your goal is to get three more clients, let's say, your system might look like this. "I'm going to send two applications a day on Upwork every single [music] day. I'm going to send three connections to warm leads and potential refers a week and 20 [music] outreach messages every single week." Now, these aren't just nice ideas or generic goals, they are specific behaviors. There's a verb associated with them. They involve action. But we all know that even specific behaviors and rituals can fall through the cracks before you have a chance to really get them to stick in your life. And that's why this fourth step is arguably the most important step of them all. You have to schedule your habits. Yep, we're going to make these behaviors impossible to ignore. As they say, "Show me your calendar and I'll tell you your priorities." If it's not in your calendar, it's not going to happen. I live and breathe by my Google calendar. Like literally, if my husband's like, "Are you ready to go? It's date night." I'm like, "It wasn't in my calendar." You know, [music] thank goodness now date night is in my calendar, but you need to schedule your priorities, everything. [music] And if these goals are a priority for you, then you should be scheduling the habits and systems in your calendar to make sure they get done. So, rather than set a generic goal like I want to spend more quality [music] time with the hubs, you're going to create a system or a habit that actually supports [music] that goal. Like I said, with weekly date nights, it is in the calendar. Put it in your calendar and then this is the most important part, you guys, do it. If you say it's a priority, make it a priority, period. And protect that time at all costs. One of my goals at the beginning of the year was to spend more time nourishing and feeding my creativity. I had a realization, right, that I used to spend a lot more time in creative thinking mode back before I had a big team to manage [music] and content to create and thousands of students around the world to teach. So, I set the goal, feed my creativity. Feels nice sitting up there on the shelf. I'm looking at it. I'm like, "Yes, that is what I want to do." But then I decided, okay, what does done look like? Well, it actually means spending more time thinking and [music] writing. So, then I built the system. One hour a day, just me and a notebook, that's it. [music] And then I scheduled it first thing in the morning. Yes, I even set my alarm earlier now so that I can get up and make sure I'm prioritizing this very first important hour of my day doing what I said I wanted, feeding my creativity. [music] And honestly, it has quickly become my favorite part of every day. My creativity is on fire. I feel like my ideas [music] and strategies are blooming. And honestly, it just feels so easy and natural now because I've actually taken that goal and I've turned it into a habit that now just feels like a normal part of my day. Because here's the part that no one tells you. Systems are life-changing because they remove decision fatigue. Constant decision-making, weighing the options, negotiating with yourself, should I or shouldn't I, right? That is what really drains you. So, the fewer decisions you have to make about your day, the more consistent you become. And that is the difference between the people who stay stuck and the people who actually change their [music] lives with powerful habits that bring them closer to their goals. One relies on motivation, just looking at that goal on the shelf, and the other relies on system. So again, stop asking, "What are my goals?" right? Because they're great, you can name them, you can claim them, but without a system, you are not [music] going to reach them. Set the goal, build a system, schedule it, stick to it, and then come back here and tell me everything that has changed over the next couple of weeks. I'll be waiting for you in the comments section. If this video helps you out at all, hit subscribe for more videos like this and I will see you next week with a brand new video. Until then, I'm Alex. Ciao for now. Before you go, if you liked that video, make sure to check out this one next. Let me tell you the biggest mistake new copywriters and marketers make that stops them from building successful, [music] consistent freelance businesses. And no, it's not bad writing, it's not lack of skills [music] or experience, it's not even over-reliance