Ask HN: Looking for Project for Quick Freelance Job

Long story short, I need to make a few thousand dollars ($3,500) in a week. I'd like to build anyone's project (or add on pieces to an existing project) over the next few days/week at the most. Upon emailing me I will send you my LinkedIn, FB, and resume. Pay when you see 50% of the project is done, and the final 50% on completion. Not looking to go through a recruiter and that process, too much time. Skills: Web application development, mobile application development, and any kind of marketing online you can think of. Specialities: PHP (CakePHP), MySQL, HTML/CSS, Javascript (jQuery), Python (Django), graphic design, UI/UX, titanium mobile sdk. Email: invinceable667@gmail.com please I will keep an eye on it as soon as this is posted. I can build anything.